Blond or Blonde? The definitive answer.

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, it is unclear if the origin of the word is Germanic, or Romance. Whatever the case, it was re-introduced into the English language from the French language in the 1600s.

French has two genders: masculine and feminine.  It's a hard concept for native English speakers to understand that a noun can have a gender attached to it. However, it is important in the French language.

 

The form of an adjective in the French language changes depending on the gender of the noun it modifies. If an adjective modifies a feminine noun, an e is normally added to the end of the adjective. Thus, in French the correct form of blond is homme blond for blond man and femme blonde for blonde woman.

Whenever a noun is imported into the English language, it virtually always drops its gender. Blond is a very rare exception. For one reason or another, the word blond has retained a hint of its gender.  Thus, if the noun modifies a clearly feminine noun such as woman, the adjective is blonde woman. Otherwise, the correct form is blond, such as blond man.

So there you have it. Amaze your friends as one of the few people who get the correct spelling of the adjective every time.

Beware the man eating chicken!

There's a sign on a fence at a local theme park that says 'Six foot man eating chicken'. Next to it is a knothole that you're supposed to look through. When you peer in, you see a mannequin of a man eating what looks like fried chicken.  The mannequin is presumably six feet tall.

The joke is you're expecting to see a chicken that is six feet tall and eats men.  When you see something else, you laugh and say something like 'oh, you sure fooled me.'  Interestingly, the park staff was correct in their use of the English language.  It is the readers who are misled.

This is why writers often use hyphens for temporary compounds. Had the staff of the park actually wanted to say it was a chicken that eats men, they should have written 'Man-eating chicken.' Of course there's no such thing, and they would never have occasion to write that.

Another example is the difference between 'Man eating shark' and 'Man-eating shark.'  The presence of the hyphen provides clarity, the shark eats men.  Without the hyphen, the reader could assume it is a man eating shark meat, which is plausible yet different from what the writer may have intended.

The rule is when a temporary compound is used as an adjective before a noun, it's a good idea to include a hyphen to show the reader the two words are intended as an adjective.  An example of a temporary compound is putting the words 'fast' and 'moving' together to get 'fast-moving'.   This phrase when put in front of 'van' says 'fast-moving van'.  Otherwise, the reader could mistake what the writer intended to mean a moving van that moves fast.

I'd like to say due to my superior knowledge of the English language I instinctively know about temporary compounds and hyphens.  The truth is, up to a year ago I had no clue when to use hyphens.  Then someone critiqued an article I wrote and pointed it out. It was very embarrassing to me.  My hope is that by reading this post someone else out there can avoid this pitfall.

What's wrong with this song title?

What's wrong with this song title:  You Make Me Feel Like I've Been Locked Out Of Heaven?

If you're a word nerd like me, the answer should jump out at you.  The usage of 'Like' is wrong.  It should be You Make Me Feel As If I've Been Locked Out Of Heaven. We don't expect song writers to have perfect English. In fact, they often intentionally use incorrect English in order to play with the words or sound folksy.  We do expect writers and editors to have perfect English, however.

If you're one of the countless people who have wrongly used like and as if, don't feel stupid.  Many otherwise competent writers of English make this mistake. Yours truly has made that error himself.  It's what I call a word trap and there are many in the English language.

Determining the correct usage is actually quite simple. Like is a preposition while as is a conjunction.  The correct use of like is when a noun or object follows.  He ran like a sprinter.  As should be used directly in front of a verb or clause.  He ran as if he were a sprinter.

That's all you need to know.  Using the correct word is not hard at all once you know the rule and it will allow you to avoid a lot of embarrassing mistakes.

 

 

Is There No Shame To This Activity?

I received a disturbing e-mail today.  Someone is offering a Nook as a prize to one lucky contest winner.  There's one catch. To enter, you have to get onto Amazon and give his book a five-star review.

I guess I should not be surprised.  Less than honorable activities have been going on there for quite some time. What is surprising, however, is the openness of the activity.  One might think cheating in this matter is done secretly, under the table, and the person doing it wants to keep his shame hidden.  But to send a mass e-mail to people he does not even know?

We've known there is a lack of objectivity in the Amazon reviews.  Almost every review is a five-star one. People are getting their friends to write reviews, signing onto bogus accounts, paying people for reviews, and now this.

One would think that Amazon would be most concerned of all.  Activities like this assault the brand and undermine their credibility.  Do they take action? The guy posting does not seem to think they will. 

Is Jealousy a Bad Thing for a Writer?

I'm about to make an admission many writers are afraid to make. I am envious of other writers' works. Even jealous, coveting. When it comes to other people's literature, I must be breaking  the Ninth and Tenth Commandments at least.

When I read an awesome work by another writer, I go through several phases.

1. Awe – I am captured by the story and especially the main character.  I read it continuously and even when I have put it down for the moment, I'm still thinking about it.
2. Jealousy – I think to myself  'I wish could write that well'.
3. Depression – I'm down because I don't think I'll ever be able to write that well.
4. Evaluation – I look at the story in detail to try and figure out why that story was so successful.
5. Improvement – Everything I write from this point on is better because of what I have learned from studying this author's work.

As an example, I'm reading the YA Dystopian novel Divergent.  Many people think the plot is a little absurd, but I can easily see how it became a #1 seller.  The main character's narration is awesome. She jumps right out of the book and talks to the reader. 

I spent yesterday in the jealousy and depression phases as a result of what I read. I envied the writer's ability to make a character jump out of the book like that and was feeling down I could not to it that well.  However, today I was able to analyze and evaluate why I as a reader relate so well to the narrator. And, as I worked on the finishing touches of my novel Bear Dreamer, I was able to make my main character's voice stand out just a little more. So, I guess it was worth dancing with the Devil for a couple songs.

Yes, some of my emotions look pretty bad on the surface. However, as a result of these negative feelings my next work will be better. It's a lot like a weight lifter who works out until his arms are sore.  When he gets over the soreness, he is able to lift more weight.

I really don't think jealousy in this instance is an evil thing as long as it does not drive you to wish bad things on the author.  If disciplined properly, it can be a force to help you improve.

Book Promotion Has Gone Cuckoo

The big story this week has been the jumping of The Cuckoo's Calling from obscurity to number one on Amazon soon as it was revealed it was actually written by J.K. Rowling.  As with most news stories, there are several angles. Let me present mine.

This situation is about as close to a controlled experiment as we are likely to see in the publishing world. A well-run experiment has three types of variables.  Controlled variables are things that are kept the same. Independent variables are things that are changed by the researcher. Dependent variables are the results of the experiment, which are determined by how the researcher manipulates the independent variables.

In this case, the controlled variable is the story, which remains constant throughout.  The independent variable is the familiarity of the author, which is changed from an unknown (Robert Galbraith) to the best known (J.K. Rowling). The dependent variable is the amount of book sales.  By now, everyone knows the results of this experiment.

 The conclusion is no matter how well you can write if no one knows who you are you will probably not sell many books.  In an ideal world, the sales of a particular book are a direct result of how well-written it is and nothing else.   We do not live in an ideal world.

Today's authors must be promoters of books as well as writers of books. A mediocre book that is promoted well will almost always sell a lot more copies than a well-written book that is promoted poorly. It may not be right or fair that a writer must learn to promote himself and his works, but that's the reality we are stuck with. Otherwise, you could be as talented as J. K. Rowling and still not sell many books.

 

Tolerance means more than you think.

I have just finished helping a fellow writer by critiquing a male/male romance story.  What is interesting is, I am a devout Lutheran who believes in strict adherence to the teachings of the Bible and also believes that same Bible condemns homosexuality.  So, why would someone with my religious belief system support a story about a homosexual romance by helping the author critique it?  The answer is it is my opinion the writing profession demands it.  Of all the disciplines, I believe writing should involve the free flow of ideas, even ones I or someone else may disagree with.

It is not up to any one individual to judge what is right or wrong; or appropriate or inappropriate.  We are all equal in that the most we can do is say it is our opinion this is right and that is wrong.  God in heaven has perfect knowledge of right and wrong and the most any of us can do is pray for knowledge of His mind and hope we are doing His will.

I'm sure many gays and social liberals are applauding my words at the moment. They may be joyful that they have 'gotten through' to another religious conservative.  My response to this reaction is 'not so fast'.

I'm finding that a lot of the people who seek tolerance of the gay lifestyle are also equally intolerant of traditional religion. Many of the same people who are politically correct about not mocking homosexuals have no reservations about mocking Jesus or traditional Christians.  My response is that the door swings both ways.  Just as it is wrong for someone to not be tolerated for their sexual lifestyle, it is equally wrong to not tolerate someone for their religious beliefs.

Looking at it logically, there are two possibilities.   Homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of God, or it isn't.  If it is not a sin, homosexuals have not committed wrong against God by practicing their lifestyle.  If it is a sin, God is loving and forgiving.  I'm convinced things will sort out at the time of judgment.  In the meantime, if we are to follow God's commandments, we are obligated to treat our neighbor with respect regardless of his or her opinions on social matters.